To IvyFlight

"Too much happiness? No such thing." -- J. Kociuba

I wasn't entirely sure where to put this, so I decided just to make a post.  It could benefit anyone to read, but It's mostly directed at Ivy.

I really liked your first four bullet points, because they really said something about who your character is, you know?  I can see her, even though I don't really know what she looks like.

After that, however, you really get into her relationship with Falcon, and after that, a lot of things are centered around what he thinks of her and what she does.  That's not really the point of this character exercise.  This is  to help you figure out who she is as an individual.  You have to be somebody before other people will become your friend, and you definitely have to know who you are before you fall in love.  Does that make sense?  Of course it's fine to say that she meets him and whatnot, and I'm sure that he's effected her thoughts and beliefs over time, but don't worry about that.  Forget all of the other characters, forget everything about the story that isn't absolutely relevant to who Nameless is as a person.  Think about who she would be if there was no Falcon, just her.  Who is she?  What does she want from life?  Why does she want it?  What's driven her to love history and want to go beyond her knowledge and see everything?

I really like her strengths, but her weaknesses... eh.  To me, weaknesses are something that is going to truly hinder the character's goal.  It's something that they are going to have to truly work to overcome in order to succeed.  That's what makes a good story.  Don't you think it would be more interesting if she had her own beliefs, but was completely unable to see any other side but her own?

Everybody has a real, hindering weakness.  In books and in real life.  My own personal weakness is being too introverted.  I can never trust people with the things that really mean something to me.  There isn't a reason for it, necessarily.  It's just me, and it's something that I have to work on every day.  Find something like that for your character.  Something that they are going to have to beat.  Because that's at the heart of all the great stories.

The quirks were good.  They made me laugh. (:

And I love the quote.  Quotable people are the best.  Haha.

Thanks for sending me what you have!  I really think that your story sounds awesome so far, and I hope that I was able to help in some small way.

Love Always,
Kayla